Friday, July 17, 2009
Recap of treatments 6-10
Treatment 6 found me sick only a day after treatment - just overall feeling lousy. Ended up with sores in my mouth and throat and had to get antifungal to treat it. Also started having ache on right side of stomach - where my gallbladder used to be. The only day I felt decent was Tuesday afternoon.
Treatment 7 was interesting...my knees swelled up as well as my hands and face. I couldn't walk from one room to another without being out of breath, heart pounding, and sweating profusely. It was strangely similar to a panic attack feeling - remembered that this is how my sister-in-law felt when she had congestive heart failure. Little scary... Ended up getting put on lasix, on top of the hydroclorathiazide (HCTZ) that I already take to get rid of excess water. At least it did the trick and the swelling went down.
Treatment 8 wasn't so bad...similar swelling and heart pounding, but lasix again, helped. Still just feeling the numbness - which goes away, the weird missing the back of my head feeling-which goes away, the difficulty concentrating and dizziness -which goes away. 4th of July weekend...I was able to get out to a couple of parties with Dave on Saturday and then Sunday, Dave and I took Ziggy to the beach, where he had an awesome time digging in the sand. The girls were in Florida with their Aunt Kim.
Treatment 9 was a bit more depressing and difficult, even knowing there was just one more treatment left. Just very nauseaus and headachy all weekend long. Dave and I have been trying to get out and go for walks with Ziggy each evening. That definitely seems to help me, getting some exercise and strength back. I'll need it for when we go to Wildwood and walk the boardwalk. I felt better by Tuesday and took Ziggy over to my friend, Al's, house. Al has 4 dalmations and a husky. The dalmations are all ages 9-12 and the husky is 2. The husky, RJ, was awesome with Ziggy...keeping an eye on him at all times and keeping him in line. It was really very cute. If Ziggy stepped out of line, RJ was right by his side, with his jaws over Ziggy's neck and RJ would growl, and Ziggy would stop. Then they had fun together as well--they would chase each other. When all the big dogs lay down for a snooze, Ziggy followed suit. Ali and Cassie started their choral festival this week at Adelphi. They're staying at Aunt Kim's nearby and Ali is driving the two of them each day. A bit nervewracking for us, but we need to let go a bit-they let us know when they leave and arrive at places to keep us calm.
Treatment 10...YAY! As much as I want to celebrate, there's always this thought in the back of my head...what if this isn't really over? What if I need more treatment???? The next phase of treatment begins with a shot to put me into menopause, followed by a daily regimen of Arimidex to lower my estrogen/progesterone production. Reason for this is that the type of cancer I have had is esgtrogen/progesterone positive. This means that my cancer grows because of those hormones...block the hormones/stop the cancer. It's now Friday and although a bit nauseaus, not too bad so far. We'll be going to see the girls concert later this evening. I'm looking forward to enjoying them sing-it's Ali's last concert with them since the summer between 5th and 6th grade.
Treatment 7 was interesting...my knees swelled up as well as my hands and face. I couldn't walk from one room to another without being out of breath, heart pounding, and sweating profusely. It was strangely similar to a panic attack feeling - remembered that this is how my sister-in-law felt when she had congestive heart failure. Little scary... Ended up getting put on lasix, on top of the hydroclorathiazide (HCTZ) that I already take to get rid of excess water. At least it did the trick and the swelling went down.
Treatment 8 wasn't so bad...similar swelling and heart pounding, but lasix again, helped. Still just feeling the numbness - which goes away, the weird missing the back of my head feeling-which goes away, the difficulty concentrating and dizziness -which goes away. 4th of July weekend...I was able to get out to a couple of parties with Dave on Saturday and then Sunday, Dave and I took Ziggy to the beach, where he had an awesome time digging in the sand. The girls were in Florida with their Aunt Kim.
Treatment 9 was a bit more depressing and difficult, even knowing there was just one more treatment left. Just very nauseaus and headachy all weekend long. Dave and I have been trying to get out and go for walks with Ziggy each evening. That definitely seems to help me, getting some exercise and strength back. I'll need it for when we go to Wildwood and walk the boardwalk. I felt better by Tuesday and took Ziggy over to my friend, Al's, house. Al has 4 dalmations and a husky. The dalmations are all ages 9-12 and the husky is 2. The husky, RJ, was awesome with Ziggy...keeping an eye on him at all times and keeping him in line. It was really very cute. If Ziggy stepped out of line, RJ was right by his side, with his jaws over Ziggy's neck and RJ would growl, and Ziggy would stop. Then they had fun together as well--they would chase each other. When all the big dogs lay down for a snooze, Ziggy followed suit. Ali and Cassie started their choral festival this week at Adelphi. They're staying at Aunt Kim's nearby and Ali is driving the two of them each day. A bit nervewracking for us, but we need to let go a bit-they let us know when they leave and arrive at places to keep us calm.
Treatment 10...YAY! As much as I want to celebrate, there's always this thought in the back of my head...what if this isn't really over? What if I need more treatment???? The next phase of treatment begins with a shot to put me into menopause, followed by a daily regimen of Arimidex to lower my estrogen/progesterone production. Reason for this is that the type of cancer I have had is esgtrogen/progesterone positive. This means that my cancer grows because of those hormones...block the hormones/stop the cancer. It's now Friday and although a bit nauseaus, not too bad so far. We'll be going to see the girls concert later this evening. I'm looking forward to enjoying them sing-it's Ali's last concert with them since the summer between 5th and 6th grade.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
5 Down, 5 to go
Wednesday, June 10th...Halfway there!!! Chemo went really fast today--we got there at 10 and were out at 2. We grabbed some burgers at Bobby Flays after treatment (always craving red meat--I am not a red meat eater normally!). The girls had a voice lesson after school for their July performance (vicd'amore studio recital) and then we headed to the orthopedist for an MRI results follow up. The results showed just some soft tissue/muscle issues and bone bruising on Ali's shoulder and knee. More physical therapy needed. If Cassie is still in pain in a month, she may have to get injections into her lumbar spine area. Hopefully pt will continue and help her. I had major heartburn all afternoon as I dropped Cassie off at soccer and then the girls off at physical therapy. I headed out to Riverhead to pick Dave up at the dealership where he dropped his truck off to get the transmission checked out. Then we headed together to get the girls at physical therapy. We talked with Gary about how much we enjoyed Buttercup. As I arrived home, the pepcid had kicked in and I was no longer feeling the awful heartburn.
Thursday, June 11th... feeling great today, so far... it's only noon.
Thursday, June 11th... feeling great today, so far... it's only noon.
Round 4
Wednesday, June 3rd...Another chemo down. Girls had physical therapy tonight. At the end, they were talking to Gary about how they babysit, and he said that he needed a dogsitter for the weekend. He and his family were heading out of town for a 90th birthday party. Cassie jumped right in and said, "I'm your girl... I'll watch your dog!" Oh boy oh boy.
Thursday, June 4th...Fuzzy headedness started this afternoon--already???!!! NO fair. Along with this came the right-sided numbness feeling. It's so weird...it happens each time, and I know it's a side effect, but it still makes me nervous.
Friday, June 5th...Dave took off today for a golf tournament to benefit Relay for Life and Lupus Walk. It got rained out by torrential downpours and rescheduled for August. I felt lousy today and while I lounged around on the couch, Dave went into the garden in his rainsuit and planted all of the vegetables I bought yesterday. We left around 5 to go pick up Gary's dog, Buttercup. She was great in the car, while we waited at Walgreens Drive Thru, Dave 'taught her to drive'. Then after getting me settled in back home, he took Ali for her senior portraits this evening. After, Ali was off to go babysit with Amy. We hung out with Buttercup--who is an awesome little Jack Russell (not hyper at all, though).
Saturday, June 6th...My mom took me for hydration, while Ali picked up Cassie and brought her to Deer Park to go practice for a singing gig they have in July. We met up at Bobby Flay's Burger Palace. The girls headed out from there to go food shopping for Relay for Life at Pat-Med. After returning home, Buttercup and I chilled out together and napped most of the afternoon away. The girls and I headed out to Relay around 5:45, dropping Cassie at soccer tryouts. I went to the survivors dinner with Ali and met up with Maureen and Marie , with Dave joining us after he got out of work. I walked the surviviors and the first lap of the Relay, and then retreated to Maureen and Maries site until around 9, when Dave took me home. Buttercup and I spent a cuddly night together. She joined me each time I got up to go to the bathroom and settled in right next to my side when I retreated to bed. I'm really getting attached to this little dog.
Sunday, June 7th...Ali came in at 6 am and went right to bed. Dave texted and told me he and Cassie were joining the Mantoura's and Kawko's for breakfast at Island Grill. Cassie slept for about an hour and then was off to soccer at 9 am. Buttercup joined Dave and I at the soccer field. Cassie played a few minutes of each half--her back and legs were hurting from all the walking the night before/ and lack of sleep. Her team won their game though 5-2! Buttercup was a hit with parents from both teams. Kayla's little sister Emma was thrilled with her as well. Dave somehow, working on adreneline maybe, opened the pool. I slept most of the afternoon away, fighting tingly head, arms and legs, as well as nausea. We went to the movies to see Night At The Museum 2 -- Dave slept through the movie. Buttercup joined us to sleep.
Monday, June 8th...Enjoyed my day with my new pal Buttercup, napping on and off, and was getting sadder by the minute that we had to return her this afternoon. We brought her back at 4 and I actually cried in the car after leaving her. Cassie quickly texted Dave, telling him that we need to get a dog. Dave and I attended the Tri-M induction this evening. Cassie was being inducted into this music honor society. The girls went out with their friends to Applebees afterward and Dave and I returned to our dogless house. It seemed empty without Buttercup there. :(
Tuesday, June 9th...Back onto steroids!!! Jackie Manno brought lunch over and her baby, Gia. I had to pick Cassie up from school--she wasn't feeling well--lack of sleep the other day caught up with her. I went to 'Look Good, Feel Better' sponsored by the American Cancer Society. They went over tips for makeup and wig care, and gave me a tote bag full of makeup from many different manufacturers. The best part was showing how to pencil in eyebrows when they start to thin, and tips for eyelashes as well. I learned that I've been putting on mascara incorrectly all these years, and blush has been in the wrong place. Go figure! From here, Dave and I picked up Cassie and went to the PTG (Players Theatrical Group) Awards Ceremony. Ali got an award for her performance in Seussical and she performed 'Take Me for Who I Am' from Rent, with her friend Ashley. We enjoyed the performances, and ceremony, and then the girls were off to Friendly's to celebrate.
Thursday, June 4th...Fuzzy headedness started this afternoon--already???!!! NO fair. Along with this came the right-sided numbness feeling. It's so weird...it happens each time, and I know it's a side effect, but it still makes me nervous.
Friday, June 5th...Dave took off today for a golf tournament to benefit Relay for Life and Lupus Walk. It got rained out by torrential downpours and rescheduled for August. I felt lousy today and while I lounged around on the couch, Dave went into the garden in his rainsuit and planted all of the vegetables I bought yesterday. We left around 5 to go pick up Gary's dog, Buttercup. She was great in the car, while we waited at Walgreens Drive Thru, Dave 'taught her to drive'. Then after getting me settled in back home, he took Ali for her senior portraits this evening. After, Ali was off to go babysit with Amy. We hung out with Buttercup--who is an awesome little Jack Russell (not hyper at all, though).
Saturday, June 6th...My mom took me for hydration, while Ali picked up Cassie and brought her to Deer Park to go practice for a singing gig they have in July. We met up at Bobby Flay's Burger Palace. The girls headed out from there to go food shopping for Relay for Life at Pat-Med. After returning home, Buttercup and I chilled out together and napped most of the afternoon away. The girls and I headed out to Relay around 5:45, dropping Cassie at soccer tryouts. I went to the survivors dinner with Ali and met up with Maureen and Marie , with Dave joining us after he got out of work. I walked the surviviors and the first lap of the Relay, and then retreated to Maureen and Maries site until around 9, when Dave took me home. Buttercup and I spent a cuddly night together. She joined me each time I got up to go to the bathroom and settled in right next to my side when I retreated to bed. I'm really getting attached to this little dog.
Sunday, June 7th...Ali came in at 6 am and went right to bed. Dave texted and told me he and Cassie were joining the Mantoura's and Kawko's for breakfast at Island Grill. Cassie slept for about an hour and then was off to soccer at 9 am. Buttercup joined Dave and I at the soccer field. Cassie played a few minutes of each half--her back and legs were hurting from all the walking the night before/ and lack of sleep. Her team won their game though 5-2! Buttercup was a hit with parents from both teams. Kayla's little sister Emma was thrilled with her as well. Dave somehow, working on adreneline maybe, opened the pool. I slept most of the afternoon away, fighting tingly head, arms and legs, as well as nausea. We went to the movies to see Night At The Museum 2 -- Dave slept through the movie. Buttercup joined us to sleep.
Monday, June 8th...Enjoyed my day with my new pal Buttercup, napping on and off, and was getting sadder by the minute that we had to return her this afternoon. We brought her back at 4 and I actually cried in the car after leaving her. Cassie quickly texted Dave, telling him that we need to get a dog. Dave and I attended the Tri-M induction this evening. Cassie was being inducted into this music honor society. The girls went out with their friends to Applebees afterward and Dave and I returned to our dogless house. It seemed empty without Buttercup there. :(
Tuesday, June 9th...Back onto steroids!!! Jackie Manno brought lunch over and her baby, Gia. I had to pick Cassie up from school--she wasn't feeling well--lack of sleep the other day caught up with her. I went to 'Look Good, Feel Better' sponsored by the American Cancer Society. They went over tips for makeup and wig care, and gave me a tote bag full of makeup from many different manufacturers. The best part was showing how to pencil in eyebrows when they start to thin, and tips for eyelashes as well. I learned that I've been putting on mascara incorrectly all these years, and blush has been in the wrong place. Go figure! From here, Dave and I picked up Cassie and went to the PTG (Players Theatrical Group) Awards Ceremony. Ali got an award for her performance in Seussical and she performed 'Take Me for Who I Am' from Rent, with her friend Ashley. We enjoyed the performances, and ceremony, and then the girls were off to Friendly's to celebrate.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Weekly Update
I think by keeping this blog, it helps me to see patterns in how I feel after each treatment. I am reassured, by looking over my notes, that there are some 'normal' things that consistantly happen each treatment. One of those is this weird numb-head feeling. I actually psych myself out and go through the 'stroke' tests to make sure I'm just fine (stick out tongue, smile, say a simple sentence...).
Thursday, May 28...Feeling good all day. Lots of energy from lack of sleep again! Worked on cleaning and shining my wood floors-they look fabulous thanks to 'Orange-glo 4 in 1 wood floor shine'. At 11, my mom and I went to Tara's for lunch and then I drove over to Fortunato Breast Center for my 6-month checkup and new 'map' of the area. The doctor had written me a script for a mammogram. After the mammo, I was told to wait while the doc on call looked over my pics. When the tech came back, she told me the doc wanted to do a sonogram, just to get a good baseline for what things look like now (post-surgery and radiation). Funny, how panic sets in--my brain must have instantly linked back to my October experience---sure they just want to get a basline--what aren't they telling me. After texting Dave and Theresa (she knows all too well--and assured me that it's protocol for her now), I felt better. As I wrote to Dave, "What's the worst they can tell me, I have cancer?"
...Took the girls to the allergist this afternoon. After checking them over, he agreed that they have spring allergies and gave them tons of scripts for allergy meds and new inhaler, for Ali.
...The allergist is across the street from Mama Lombardi's. The garlic wafting over made us head there for dinner--we just ate in the take out area of the restaurant. Food is starting to taste weird again.
...Ali went home and got ready for her class trip to Philadelphia and Hershey. I dropped her of at Kate's house so she could sleep over there and Diana would take her to school in the morning.
Friday, May 29. Feeling good again, but just a little nauseaus. Finished the floors and rearranged the living room a bit. I decided not to take the Zofran to see if it made my head feel any better. I was able to drive to Dr. Dacosta's for my 2 pm appointment, and I felt just fine--just nauseaus. Dr. DaCosta said, when I come in for hydration on Saturday morning, he'll order Aloxi (anti-nausea i.v. drug). The Aloxi should help with the nausea for 48-72 hours afterward.
... From the doctor, I headed south to meet up with Cassie for her All State solo. I stopped at 7-11 on the way, to get some Gatorade and a roll for me (nausea) and a tea for Cassie. Her solo went well and we headed home--me feeling a bit woozy and ready to lay down for a stretch.
....Friend, Deirdre and her husband, Bill, dropped by with some awesome pasta in a pink sauce with sundried tomatoes. It really hit the spot for the three of us (Ali still on trip).
Saturday, May 30. Dave got up bright and early to bring Cassie up to the high school at 6 am. Her class trip to Dorney Park was underway. Mom took me for hydration and Aloxi at 9:30 and we got out of there at noon. I was craving a burger, so we headed over to The Good Steer for lunch. I was feeling a bit dizzy and nauseaus, but it felt good to be out and about for a little while. I spent the day doing laundry and then resting. Dave called in to Medford Pastaria for dinner and picked up each of the girls from their trips.
Sunday, May 31. Still battling some nausea, I was not about to give in to take the Zofran, and risk the chance of a mind-blowing headache. We went to our friend's son, Alex's, Eagle Scout Award Ceremony/Brunch. What a proud moment for their family, and a great achievement for Alex. I tried as best I could to focus on the ceremony, but my mind just drifts around so much. Even watching sitcoms--I could watch a bunch of them and not tell you what any one of them was about.
...Went home around 3 and slept until 5:30. It was a great nap, but I woke with a weird feeling, like the back of my head was missing. It was numb--I had to touch it to make sure it was really still there. Cassie went out with Eric to go see Terminator--first time out with a guy who drives. THAT was a bit nerverwracking! He seems like a really nice young man though.
Monday, June 1. Nausea continues, but my head is clear enough to move around and get some things done. Today, I worked on cleaning up the countertop by the sink in our kitchen. This is the one where all of the mail gets thrown, and it was highly neglected for a long time. It was fulfilling to get it done. I also worked on a couple of long overdue photo albums. Neck and lower back spasms have begun again--nothing too horrible, just annoying. Looking back, I notice this happened last Monday as well.
...Cassie scored a 98 on her AllState solo. YAY! This is a great score and I am so proud of her for unleashing her voice! I went out around 3:30 to go get Dave's Aunt Mary a birthday present and picked up some pants and shirts for Dave as well. After leaving Kohl's, I felt a bit dizzy and nauseaus and picked up a plain cheeseburger and McDonald's sweet tea. Dave called over to Aunt Mary's to make sure she'd be home for us to stop over for her birthday. She said she had picked up a cake in case anyone came over. I think last year, we celebrated at Dave's parents house?
...Girls went to their music gala at 6, and Dave and I headed to --of all places-- Burger King. I wanted a burger again--I ate a Whopper and it really hit the spot. We went to Aunt Mary's and chatted with her friend Sheila, Sheila's daughter Lisa and grandaughter as well as Kim and Mr. and Mrs. Z.
Tuesday...Back to the steroids! Not as energetic as usual though. Could I be getting used to them? Spent the morning cleaning out kitchen cabinets under the counter where I worked yesterday. Reorganized and rearranged for more efficiency--we'll see how long it lasts! Nausea is gone and I'm onto the steroid hunger! Planning on getting out and about--getting to Sam's, bank, district office, etc.
...Cassie has a lumbar mri scheduled for 3 this afternoon and tomorrow's chemo is at 10. Yippee--round 4 coming up.
Thursday, May 28...Feeling good all day. Lots of energy from lack of sleep again! Worked on cleaning and shining my wood floors-they look fabulous thanks to 'Orange-glo 4 in 1 wood floor shine'. At 11, my mom and I went to Tara's for lunch and then I drove over to Fortunato Breast Center for my 6-month checkup and new 'map' of the area. The doctor had written me a script for a mammogram. After the mammo, I was told to wait while the doc on call looked over my pics. When the tech came back, she told me the doc wanted to do a sonogram, just to get a good baseline for what things look like now (post-surgery and radiation). Funny, how panic sets in--my brain must have instantly linked back to my October experience---sure they just want to get a basline--what aren't they telling me. After texting Dave and Theresa (she knows all too well--and assured me that it's protocol for her now), I felt better. As I wrote to Dave, "What's the worst they can tell me, I have cancer?"
...Took the girls to the allergist this afternoon. After checking them over, he agreed that they have spring allergies and gave them tons of scripts for allergy meds and new inhaler, for Ali.
...The allergist is across the street from Mama Lombardi's. The garlic wafting over made us head there for dinner--we just ate in the take out area of the restaurant. Food is starting to taste weird again.
...Ali went home and got ready for her class trip to Philadelphia and Hershey. I dropped her of at Kate's house so she could sleep over there and Diana would take her to school in the morning.
Friday, May 29. Feeling good again, but just a little nauseaus. Finished the floors and rearranged the living room a bit. I decided not to take the Zofran to see if it made my head feel any better. I was able to drive to Dr. Dacosta's for my 2 pm appointment, and I felt just fine--just nauseaus. Dr. DaCosta said, when I come in for hydration on Saturday morning, he'll order Aloxi (anti-nausea i.v. drug). The Aloxi should help with the nausea for 48-72 hours afterward.
... From the doctor, I headed south to meet up with Cassie for her All State solo. I stopped at 7-11 on the way, to get some Gatorade and a roll for me (nausea) and a tea for Cassie. Her solo went well and we headed home--me feeling a bit woozy and ready to lay down for a stretch.
....Friend, Deirdre and her husband, Bill, dropped by with some awesome pasta in a pink sauce with sundried tomatoes. It really hit the spot for the three of us (Ali still on trip).
Saturday, May 30. Dave got up bright and early to bring Cassie up to the high school at 6 am. Her class trip to Dorney Park was underway. Mom took me for hydration and Aloxi at 9:30 and we got out of there at noon. I was craving a burger, so we headed over to The Good Steer for lunch. I was feeling a bit dizzy and nauseaus, but it felt good to be out and about for a little while. I spent the day doing laundry and then resting. Dave called in to Medford Pastaria for dinner and picked up each of the girls from their trips.
Sunday, May 31. Still battling some nausea, I was not about to give in to take the Zofran, and risk the chance of a mind-blowing headache. We went to our friend's son, Alex's, Eagle Scout Award Ceremony/Brunch. What a proud moment for their family, and a great achievement for Alex. I tried as best I could to focus on the ceremony, but my mind just drifts around so much. Even watching sitcoms--I could watch a bunch of them and not tell you what any one of them was about.
...Went home around 3 and slept until 5:30. It was a great nap, but I woke with a weird feeling, like the back of my head was missing. It was numb--I had to touch it to make sure it was really still there. Cassie went out with Eric to go see Terminator--first time out with a guy who drives. THAT was a bit nerverwracking! He seems like a really nice young man though.
Monday, June 1. Nausea continues, but my head is clear enough to move around and get some things done. Today, I worked on cleaning up the countertop by the sink in our kitchen. This is the one where all of the mail gets thrown, and it was highly neglected for a long time. It was fulfilling to get it done. I also worked on a couple of long overdue photo albums. Neck and lower back spasms have begun again--nothing too horrible, just annoying. Looking back, I notice this happened last Monday as well.
...Cassie scored a 98 on her AllState solo. YAY! This is a great score and I am so proud of her for unleashing her voice! I went out around 3:30 to go get Dave's Aunt Mary a birthday present and picked up some pants and shirts for Dave as well. After leaving Kohl's, I felt a bit dizzy and nauseaus and picked up a plain cheeseburger and McDonald's sweet tea. Dave called over to Aunt Mary's to make sure she'd be home for us to stop over for her birthday. She said she had picked up a cake in case anyone came over. I think last year, we celebrated at Dave's parents house?
...Girls went to their music gala at 6, and Dave and I headed to --of all places-- Burger King. I wanted a burger again--I ate a Whopper and it really hit the spot. We went to Aunt Mary's and chatted with her friend Sheila, Sheila's daughter Lisa and grandaughter as well as Kim and Mr. and Mrs. Z.
Tuesday...Back to the steroids! Not as energetic as usual though. Could I be getting used to them? Spent the morning cleaning out kitchen cabinets under the counter where I worked yesterday. Reorganized and rearranged for more efficiency--we'll see how long it lasts! Nausea is gone and I'm onto the steroid hunger! Planning on getting out and about--getting to Sam's, bank, district office, etc.
...Cassie has a lumbar mri scheduled for 3 this afternoon and tomorrow's chemo is at 10. Yippee--round 4 coming up.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Another day, another chemo
Steroids wake me up at night! It happened last Wednesday and now it's happened again. I am wide awake at 3 am!!! The day before, the day of, and the day after chemo, I take Decadron--a steroid--2 pills in the am and 2 pills at dinner. I had trouble falling asleep Tuesday nights around midnight. Then, I was up at 1:00 for a bathroom break, then wide awake at 3am. Tossed and turned and tried to fall back asleep for about an hour. Got out of bed at 4:15 and finished reading 'The Shack'. What a great book--have to revisit it again, though--way too much thinking involved.
So this past week was interesting.
Chemo on Wednesday, May 20th. 9:15-2:30. Went home and planted flowers with Dave. Ate dinner at home on our 19th wedding anniversary, and then went to the concert that the girls were in.
Thursday, May 21. Feeling very energetic all day, started to get tired at night. Was able to take Ali for her knee mri and dropped off music for the accompanyist for Cassie's AllState solo and bring the girls to physical therapy at 7/7:15.
Friday, May 22. Girls were off. Less energetic, pretty nauseous all day. Went for rehydration at 2:15 and didn't get out until 5. Felt a bit better then and went to pick up my new wig afterward. Ali headed out to Steff's grandma's for the night.
Saturday, May 23. Dave brought Ali, Mary and Steff out to Calverton to lay flags on the gravesites of soldiers for 'Operation SOS' (a club that Ali belongs to in school). I was feeling pretty tired and had a wicked headache and nausea. After they returned home, Ali, Cassie, Steff and Dave and I headed for his sister, Kim's, house. Dave took the girls to the air show and I stayed back with his parents to help prep for the barbeque. I felt somewhat productive, cutting tomatoes, onions, cheese. Then around 4 pm, we ate--red meat has never tasted sooooo good before! I went to lay down after that and woke up around 7. I had a good 3 hours of feeling quite wonderful, and then the fatigue, headache, and nausea kicked back in. It was a rough drive home.
Sunday, May 24. Slept most of the day away with a headache and nausea. It's amazing how much I can sleep! and then sleep some more. Found out today that Blue Gatorade is KEY! We went over to Debbie and Jay's (neighbors of Jeff and Theresa's) for a barbeque/dinner around 6. Cassie's new 'boy' interest joined us. He followed us there in his car, so he could head straight home afterward, since he lives halfway between us and them. He was a good sport about meeting all of us for the first time, on such a huge scale of people. It turns out that he already knows my brother in law, Jeff, and our friend Tom, because his dad worked for the same company as they do. Pretty small world. Oh, and Dave also fit him and his sister for shoes when they were younger. Only issue is that he's 19 and she's only 16. We left around 10 and I had a great night sleep.
Monday, May 25. Slept most of the day away with a headache, and nausea. I was able to get little things done on a small scale: laundry, bathtub cleaning. Each time I would finish a project, I would lay down for a while. We grilled up some burgers for dinner (Cassie went to Nikole's for a BBQ) and sat outside for the first time this season. I was feeling a bit blue, beginning to wonder if I would have any 'feeling somewhat good days', wondering how to make it through the next 8 weeks of treatment. Will the toxins gradually build up and I'll feel worse???
Tuesday, May 26. Began steroid again, in preparation for chemo on Weds. What a great, productive day I had. Steroids are wonderful...during the day that is! I was able to get ironing done without having to take a nap! I got bills paid, finished up laundry, went to Sam's and Stop and Shop, picked up a present for my mother-in-law at Kohl's and went to a parent meeting for Ali's class trip this weekend. Then, at 7, we all went to my in-laws for my mother-in-law's birthday party. Bed at 11, wide awake at 3 am again!
So this past week was interesting.
Chemo on Wednesday, May 20th. 9:15-2:30. Went home and planted flowers with Dave. Ate dinner at home on our 19th wedding anniversary, and then went to the concert that the girls were in.
Thursday, May 21. Feeling very energetic all day, started to get tired at night. Was able to take Ali for her knee mri and dropped off music for the accompanyist for Cassie's AllState solo and bring the girls to physical therapy at 7/7:15.
Friday, May 22. Girls were off. Less energetic, pretty nauseous all day. Went for rehydration at 2:15 and didn't get out until 5. Felt a bit better then and went to pick up my new wig afterward. Ali headed out to Steff's grandma's for the night.
Saturday, May 23. Dave brought Ali, Mary and Steff out to Calverton to lay flags on the gravesites of soldiers for 'Operation SOS' (a club that Ali belongs to in school). I was feeling pretty tired and had a wicked headache and nausea. After they returned home, Ali, Cassie, Steff and Dave and I headed for his sister, Kim's, house. Dave took the girls to the air show and I stayed back with his parents to help prep for the barbeque. I felt somewhat productive, cutting tomatoes, onions, cheese. Then around 4 pm, we ate--red meat has never tasted sooooo good before! I went to lay down after that and woke up around 7. I had a good 3 hours of feeling quite wonderful, and then the fatigue, headache, and nausea kicked back in. It was a rough drive home.
Sunday, May 24. Slept most of the day away with a headache and nausea. It's amazing how much I can sleep! and then sleep some more. Found out today that Blue Gatorade is KEY! We went over to Debbie and Jay's (neighbors of Jeff and Theresa's) for a barbeque/dinner around 6. Cassie's new 'boy' interest joined us. He followed us there in his car, so he could head straight home afterward, since he lives halfway between us and them. He was a good sport about meeting all of us for the first time, on such a huge scale of people. It turns out that he already knows my brother in law, Jeff, and our friend Tom, because his dad worked for the same company as they do. Pretty small world. Oh, and Dave also fit him and his sister for shoes when they were younger. Only issue is that he's 19 and she's only 16. We left around 10 and I had a great night sleep.
Monday, May 25. Slept most of the day away with a headache, and nausea. I was able to get little things done on a small scale: laundry, bathtub cleaning. Each time I would finish a project, I would lay down for a while. We grilled up some burgers for dinner (Cassie went to Nikole's for a BBQ) and sat outside for the first time this season. I was feeling a bit blue, beginning to wonder if I would have any 'feeling somewhat good days', wondering how to make it through the next 8 weeks of treatment. Will the toxins gradually build up and I'll feel worse???
Tuesday, May 26. Began steroid again, in preparation for chemo on Weds. What a great, productive day I had. Steroids are wonderful...during the day that is! I was able to get ironing done without having to take a nap! I got bills paid, finished up laundry, went to Sam's and Stop and Shop, picked up a present for my mother-in-law at Kohl's and went to a parent meeting for Ali's class trip this weekend. Then, at 7, we all went to my in-laws for my mother-in-law's birthday party. Bed at 11, wide awake at 3 am again!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Ali's Junior Prom
The night before Cassie's Sweet 16, Ali had her Junior Prom. She was one of the nominees for Homecoming Court, which was such an honor out of 700+ students, she was one of 6 girls to be nominated!
Above are some pictures of her all dressed up for the evening. Click on the picture to see a larger image.
New Treatment Course
Since the Taxotere, was so taxing on my digestive tract, the oncologist has changed up the course of my chemo. I will be going every week for the next nine weeks, instead of once every three weeks. The dosage of Taxotere will be lowered and the Cytoxin is changed to Carboplatin. I went yesterday for treatment and I'm feeling pretty well today. Just a slight headache and some intestinal grumbling. And water tastes weird again! This is the worst part for me as I am usually a big water drinker and I need to keep hydrated. I set an appointment for tomorrow to get rehydrated, anticipating that first weekend where I began hallucinating from dehydration from my first chemo. We'll see how it goes.
I had a good week and a half of feeling absolutely normal! I hope that the lowered doses will keep me on a more even keel--will I feel slighly lousy all the time, getting worse every week as the drugs build up in my system over the 9 weeks? Only time will tell...
Cassie's Sweet 16 went very well...tons of dancing, good food, and great company. Thanks to family help, we had invitations made by my sister-in-law Laura; the video montage made by my brother-in-law Jeff and my niece Samantha; my sister-in-law Kim brought Cassie to get her hair, makeup and nails done. We had a great candle lighting ceremony with a gorgeous sandcastle made by our friend Kim (see picture above).
Monday, May 11, 2009
Complications
Tuesday morning-May 5th, I woke up with lower abdominal cramping. I had a bit of that Saturday morning, so I was thinking that maybe I was getting dehydrated again. After my second trip to the bathroom in a mere half hour, I looked down to a toilet full of bloody diarrhea. After the 3rd and 4th time over the next hour, I figured it was time to call the oncologist's office. The nurse practitioner in charge told me to go to the emergency room. I opted for Mather Hospital, knowing that most of the oncologists have privileges there.
My mom brought me as Dave was alone in the store that day. They put me in a private ER room, which was kind of nice. It even had a T.V. and one of the nurses went right off to get my mom a chair to sit it. They did a CT scan and found nothing in the intestines; They DID find a lesion on my pancreas though and told me they would follow it up with an MRI. They admitted me at 3:30 that afternoon. I got into an actual room at 10:00 pm.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009. Besides bloodwork, blood pressure, and temperature, no tests were done at all... except for a test for C-Def, e-coli, salmonella, and other intestinal type issues (some kind of super-bug). The diarrhea continues all day and they have plenty of samples to work with. All the tests come back negative.
Thursday, May 7, 2009. Diarrhea continues and the blood is back...ugh. Today, I'm on a liquids-only diet to get ready for a colonoscopy tomorrow. This is really no fun at all. I'm beginning to get quite sore from all this bathroom going. They take me for the MRI around 3pm. Then, when I return, they start me on te prep for the colonoscopy which will be done on Friday. The prep involves a 4 liter (about a gallon) jug of a clear, liquid that foams when you pour it into a glass. It tastes a bit like the bottom of a margherita--salty and a bit sweet. Not bad for a sip, but a whole gallon? ALSO...how much more can they really expect to get out of me????!!!! After drinking a quarter of this jug, I head, yet again to the bathroom. 20 minutes later...off to the bathroom again...now it's clear liquid coming out, but I still have 3/4 of a jug to polish off. My friend, Jen visits as I guzzle down until I'm halfway through. After she leaves, I realize I just can't take any more of this torture down below. I retreat to my bed and cry like a baby. The nurse comes in and I tell her how sore I am. She gets me Desitin and it works great...helps to cry like a baby! She tells me to take a break from drinking and I do. About an hour later, I'm ready to try again. I drink another quarter and she tells me I can stop because now she's going to bring me 4 pills that will help me go!!! I ask if she's kidding and she produces 4 tiny hot pink pills. I'm up every hour, rushing to unplug Jose (my iv pole) from the wall, and running to the bathroom. Oh joy!
Friday, May 8, 2009. The nurse comes in around 7 am and hesitatingly informs me that my colonoscopy is scheduled for 2 pm. One of the onologists comes in and I ask her results of the MRI. She says the lesion on the pancreas looks like a cyst and I'll have to follow up in 3 months to make sure it's unchanged. She also says that the chances of me having breast and pancreatic cancer would put me in the World Book of Records-it would be that rare. Whew. Around 10 am, I get my first roommate, AnnMarie. 2pm rolls around and I go for my colonoscopy, which they knock you out for. Best sleep I've had in days! They got halfway into the intestines and had to stop because my intestines are twisted. Now, I have to go as an outpatient to finish by them doing a virtual colonoscopy...whatever that may be! The only thing they find are some internal hemherroids. They tell me to eat a high fiber diet, yet according to the oncologist instructions, when you have diarrhea, you shouldn't eat high fiber! Go figure.
Saturday, May 9, 2009. After clearance from the gastro and onco docs I'm ready to go home at 11 am. Yippee. Dave and I do some mothers day shopping and then I'm home resting for the remainder of the day.
Sunday, May 10, 2009. Happy Mother's Day! It was a gorgeous sunny day. Cassie had a soccer game and then we were off to Marianna's Baptism followed by a luncheon at the Chinese Buffet. I felt wonderfully normal and energetic until about 5 pm and then I had the sudden need to go rest. Cassie and I headed home and took some pics of her in her Sweet 16 gear. We uploaded the pics onto Sam's Club website and ordered a poster for her friends to sign.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
CHEMO SUCKS and then you start to feel better!
Okey Dokey...Here goes. It is now Sunday, May 3rd. I feel as though I have lost a couple of days--they're kind of a blur in my mind. I finally feel up to sitting and jotting down some ideas about how the first treatment went.
Wednesday, April 29th: Arrived at oncology office at 9:15--had taken steroids for the past 24 hours to offset any kind of reaction to the Taxotere they would give me later. After doing a blood count (finger stick) and adjusting all the meds they would give according to the blood counts, they brought me in to the chemotherapy area. There are about 8 rooms, each with reclining chairs and regular straight-back chairs (for those poor suckers who don't get the luxury of receiving chemo in a comfy chair). The rooms have anywhere from 1-4 recliners, in case you want to make it a 'party atmosphere' with the other chemo patients :) Dave and I picked a private room for the first time--it even had a t.v.
Barbara, one of the nurses, started the i.v. line--I chose not to get a port, since I will have only 4 treatments. She put on bags of: Pepcid, Benedryl, and another steroid. Each of these dripped separately and then reverted back to the regular sodium cl. drip. Then, around noon they began the Taxotere. With Taxotere, they check on you every 15 minutes. Well, about 30 minutes in, I started having difficulty swallowing--it would take me a good 10 seconds or more to get my throat muscles to figure out how to swallow. I told the nurse and she stopped the drip, consulted with another nurse, and went to get more Benedryl and another steroid, and the doctor. Less than 10 minutes later, I could swallow with no problem at all. So they started the drip again--very slowly this time! It took about 2 1/2 hours for this bag to finish. Thanks to Benedryl, I slept through most of it. Last came the Cytoxen, which only took about an hour to dispense. We left around 4 p.m.!
I felt pretty good the rest of the evening, but got a bit achy around bedtime. No nausea, just a headache. Tylenol worked just fine.
Thursday, April 30, 2009: Woke up, wide awake at 5:30 a.m., not quite sure what to do with myself. I usually don't get up for school until 6:45, so this was weird for me. I guessed it was the effects of the steroids. I decided, as long as I was feeling well, I might as well get things accomplished. So I got ready, took Cassie to school, and went up to my own school--arriving at 7:55! I got 'green sheets' for photocopying next fall's packets that I brought home to keep me occupied. I got paperwork together from the doctor that had to go to human resources--and went to h.r. to drop those off. I went over to do my banking, and then headed to Home Depot to pick up contact paper. Next, I was off to Estelle's to pick up Ali's prom dress and then it was over to Toyota and a free car wash. This was all done before noon. When I got home at noon, I was officially tired. I slept, and then started feeling kinda lousy. My mom took me to go get my Neulasta shot at 3:30, and I spent the rest of the evening laying around drinking tons of water.
Friday, May 1, 2009: Woke up, bright eyed and bushy tailed at 5:30 AGAIN. This time....after a restless night's sleep. I filled up my Bubba Keg and tried to drink water like I did the day before, but my tongue was so sore. There was nothing on it that I could see, but it hurt. I still kept at the water though. My appetite was definitely starting to wane, and I ate sporadically throughout the day, because I knew I had to. I kept drinking water--it was starting to taste weird though. I also noticed that my tongue was white and fuzzy feeling. Felt a bit more nauseaus all day long, than I had the day before. More of a headache and overall achiness too, oh yeah--and some diarreah (wahoo).
Saturday, May 2, 2009: A nightmarish delusional type of day. I woke up feeling a cross between: a hangover, getting in a car accident, having pneumonia, having a stomach virus, and being on a dizzy ride at an amusement park with a whopping headache. I think that about covers it. I called the oncologists office around 10:30, and they told me to take Immodium (which, I must say, is a great drug), and come in Sunday morning for rehydration. Then I tried downing some water, but it tasted like I was drinking oil. I couldn't feel it on my tongue--neither could I feel hot or cold on my tongue. I kept getting cramps in my lower stomach, and I would go from this weird awake state to a not so restful sleep state. The last thing I remember from Saturday night was brushing my teeth and watching them move around in my mouth. I KNEW, it wasn't really happening, but it looked so weird in the mirror--kinda like a bad Ambien trip. I held my nose and downed some water and tylenol, and went to bed. I slept off and on, waking with lower abdominal cramps and achiness.
Sunday, May 3rd, 2009: The hour ticked by so slowly as I waited to head out to the oncologists office to get rehydrated--every muscle hurt--my legs were wobbling as I was walking to the car. Dave stopped and got me a decaf tea and a roll at 7-11, which I sipped and picked at on the way. We got there at 8:30 sharp, and after a blood count (which was fine), they got me hooked up right away. Within a half hour, I konked out into a somewhat comfortable sleep. Two hours later we were done--my legs were stronger, and I felt human again. Unbelievable what a little rehydration can do for you. The nurse practitioner said for my next treatment, to make an appointment 2 days afterward to come in for rehydration so we can avoid this horror show. I will be taking them up on that offer. Once home, I watched the kids and Dave play wii. Then Dave made me a couple of eggs over rice (exactly what I wanted--I have never wanted that before--go figure). I slept for a couple of hours--in a nice deep comfortable sleep and woke up soaking wet, but feeling great. Now it's about 3:30 Sunday afternoon, and I've had all the energy to actually sit up and write this! Definitely feeling better; although a bit tired now--guess I'll go rest.
Oh, yeah...they gave me a prescription for 'miracle mouthwash'. It's supposed to work wonders on the tongue and throat of chemo patients. Looking forward to trying it out :)
Wednesday, April 29th: Arrived at oncology office at 9:15--had taken steroids for the past 24 hours to offset any kind of reaction to the Taxotere they would give me later. After doing a blood count (finger stick) and adjusting all the meds they would give according to the blood counts, they brought me in to the chemotherapy area. There are about 8 rooms, each with reclining chairs and regular straight-back chairs (for those poor suckers who don't get the luxury of receiving chemo in a comfy chair). The rooms have anywhere from 1-4 recliners, in case you want to make it a 'party atmosphere' with the other chemo patients :) Dave and I picked a private room for the first time--it even had a t.v.
Barbara, one of the nurses, started the i.v. line--I chose not to get a port, since I will have only 4 treatments. She put on bags of: Pepcid, Benedryl, and another steroid. Each of these dripped separately and then reverted back to the regular sodium cl. drip. Then, around noon they began the Taxotere. With Taxotere, they check on you every 15 minutes. Well, about 30 minutes in, I started having difficulty swallowing--it would take me a good 10 seconds or more to get my throat muscles to figure out how to swallow. I told the nurse and she stopped the drip, consulted with another nurse, and went to get more Benedryl and another steroid, and the doctor. Less than 10 minutes later, I could swallow with no problem at all. So they started the drip again--very slowly this time! It took about 2 1/2 hours for this bag to finish. Thanks to Benedryl, I slept through most of it. Last came the Cytoxen, which only took about an hour to dispense. We left around 4 p.m.!
I felt pretty good the rest of the evening, but got a bit achy around bedtime. No nausea, just a headache. Tylenol worked just fine.
Thursday, April 30, 2009: Woke up, wide awake at 5:30 a.m., not quite sure what to do with myself. I usually don't get up for school until 6:45, so this was weird for me. I guessed it was the effects of the steroids. I decided, as long as I was feeling well, I might as well get things accomplished. So I got ready, took Cassie to school, and went up to my own school--arriving at 7:55! I got 'green sheets' for photocopying next fall's packets that I brought home to keep me occupied. I got paperwork together from the doctor that had to go to human resources--and went to h.r. to drop those off. I went over to do my banking, and then headed to Home Depot to pick up contact paper. Next, I was off to Estelle's to pick up Ali's prom dress and then it was over to Toyota and a free car wash. This was all done before noon. When I got home at noon, I was officially tired. I slept, and then started feeling kinda lousy. My mom took me to go get my Neulasta shot at 3:30, and I spent the rest of the evening laying around drinking tons of water.
Friday, May 1, 2009: Woke up, bright eyed and bushy tailed at 5:30 AGAIN. This time....after a restless night's sleep. I filled up my Bubba Keg and tried to drink water like I did the day before, but my tongue was so sore. There was nothing on it that I could see, but it hurt. I still kept at the water though. My appetite was definitely starting to wane, and I ate sporadically throughout the day, because I knew I had to. I kept drinking water--it was starting to taste weird though. I also noticed that my tongue was white and fuzzy feeling. Felt a bit more nauseaus all day long, than I had the day before. More of a headache and overall achiness too, oh yeah--and some diarreah (wahoo).
Saturday, May 2, 2009: A nightmarish delusional type of day. I woke up feeling a cross between: a hangover, getting in a car accident, having pneumonia, having a stomach virus, and being on a dizzy ride at an amusement park with a whopping headache. I think that about covers it. I called the oncologists office around 10:30, and they told me to take Immodium (which, I must say, is a great drug), and come in Sunday morning for rehydration. Then I tried downing some water, but it tasted like I was drinking oil. I couldn't feel it on my tongue--neither could I feel hot or cold on my tongue. I kept getting cramps in my lower stomach, and I would go from this weird awake state to a not so restful sleep state. The last thing I remember from Saturday night was brushing my teeth and watching them move around in my mouth. I KNEW, it wasn't really happening, but it looked so weird in the mirror--kinda like a bad Ambien trip. I held my nose and downed some water and tylenol, and went to bed. I slept off and on, waking with lower abdominal cramps and achiness.
Sunday, May 3rd, 2009: The hour ticked by so slowly as I waited to head out to the oncologists office to get rehydrated--every muscle hurt--my legs were wobbling as I was walking to the car. Dave stopped and got me a decaf tea and a roll at 7-11, which I sipped and picked at on the way. We got there at 8:30 sharp, and after a blood count (which was fine), they got me hooked up right away. Within a half hour, I konked out into a somewhat comfortable sleep. Two hours later we were done--my legs were stronger, and I felt human again. Unbelievable what a little rehydration can do for you. The nurse practitioner said for my next treatment, to make an appointment 2 days afterward to come in for rehydration so we can avoid this horror show. I will be taking them up on that offer. Once home, I watched the kids and Dave play wii. Then Dave made me a couple of eggs over rice (exactly what I wanted--I have never wanted that before--go figure). I slept for a couple of hours--in a nice deep comfortable sleep and woke up soaking wet, but feeling great. Now it's about 3:30 Sunday afternoon, and I've had all the energy to actually sit up and write this! Definitely feeling better; although a bit tired now--guess I'll go rest.
Oh, yeah...they gave me a prescription for 'miracle mouthwash'. It's supposed to work wonders on the tongue and throat of chemo patients. Looking forward to trying it out :)
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Chemo coming up
This Wednesday, April 29th will be my first chemotherapy treatment. I will be receiving cytoxen and taxotere. Adriamycin would have been thrown into the mix, had it not been for my mitral valve prolapse--adriamycin can cause heart valve problems. Now we wouldn't want that would we? The taxotere will cause my hair to start falling out about two weeks later. I went to a great wig place and have a wig that's the same color as my hair, with less curl. I also got a baseball cap that has hair built into it. It's pretty cute--great for just running out of the house in. I also have some terry cloth turbans that my friend Maureen said are very comfy to sleep with. I'm curious how my hair will come back. Almost everyone I know who lost their hair to chemo had hair come back in curly. Since mine is curly to start with, will it come back straight?
Wednesday also begins my sick leave. My oncologist recommended that I not expose myself to so many germs (elementary schools are notorious for having germs!). So I need to come up with some goals to do around the house while I am out on leave. Granted I may feel cruddy for a few days following each treatment, but I'm planning on feeling good the rest of the time. I figure on a cruddy feeling day, my goal is to get dressed and do one positive thing that day, no matter what!
Wednesday also begins my sick leave. My oncologist recommended that I not expose myself to so many germs (elementary schools are notorious for having germs!). So I need to come up with some goals to do around the house while I am out on leave. Granted I may feel cruddy for a few days following each treatment, but I'm planning on feeling good the rest of the time. I figure on a cruddy feeling day, my goal is to get dressed and do one positive thing that day, no matter what!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Grateful
I've had many thoughts lately about how grateful and truly blessed my life is. Having cancer really makes you take a step back and reflect on what really matters in life. Adding in the car accident that Ali and Cassie were in last week, made me reflective once again.
Ali was driving from the second night of Seussical at the high school to Applebees. She had Cassie in the minivan as well as my neice and two of their friends. While waiting to turn left at a busy intersection, a 4 door sedan type of car traveling towards them hit them, spun them 180 degrees and sent them down the road about 50 feet in the opposite direction from which they were traveling. Of course, because she was in the left turn lane, the police report states that when she attempted the left turn, she collided with his car. I find this interesting, since all the damage is to the front of both cars. If she was into the turn, the side of her car would have been more damaged.
Whatever...the part that matters most is that all of the kids were able to get out of the van unassisted. The person injured most had a broken nose, and can't remember the events just prior to the accident (the doctor feels that there is no permanent damage though). My neice had to have 4 stitches to the center of her tongue--almost as if she tried to get a tongue piercing that went awry. Ali has some range of motion issues with her right shoulder, as well as a left knee bruise and difficulty walking; Cassie has whiplash (neck muscle spasms and vertebra is straighter than the normal curve of the neck) and low and behold--scoliosis--with her L5 break, was she never fully x-rayed- as well as a bruise to her left shin, a burn and bruise across her chest where the seatbelt kept her captive. The last person in the van was uninjured-just some minor aches. They were all brought to the emergency room to be evaluated and were all sent home within 8 hours of the accident. The man driving the other car did not leave in an ambulance, and we hope that he's okay. You have to wonder though--where was he coming from, and was his cell phone in use at the time of the accident?
My last radiation appointment is this Monday, 4/6--YAY. Then I meet with the oncologist on Friday 4/10. I'll update this after I know what upcoming events will be bringing.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Low, but not low enough
The Oncotype Dx, although placing me in the low category, gives me a 10% chance of the cancer returning. The oncologist put it this way--'If you take 100 women with your same score, 10 of them will get the cancer back. IF you get chemotherapy, it will cut that number to 5 out of the 100 getting the cancer back. He went on to say that the first time you get cancer is the time to do the most you can to get rid of it completely, because if it comes back, it comes back elsewhere in the body and it is more difficult to treat--and impossible to cure completely'.
He explained another method, an alternative to chemo that is used in Europe. It consists of a series of injections--every 4 months, and taking arimidex as well. I think the injections have three different drugs in them--one of them being a drug that causes the body to go into menopause. If I have chemo, he would give me that one injection before starting the arimidex anyway. I have not been able to find information on the treatment he is telling me about--he says he has used it on about 30 of his patients. I'm not sure if the success rate is the same as chemo, nor do I know for how long the studies have been going on for that method.
I know that I don't want to have the cancer return and have to say, "I wish I would have done chemo the first time around". I will do everything I can to rid myself of it now. SOOOOO, I think that I will be opting for chemo--it will begin the end of April if this is the route I choose. It will only be 4 treatments, given every three weeks. I'd be done mid-summer.
My next oncologist appointment is the first week in April. I will have made up my mind completely by then.
Radiation is 14 treatments down another 19 or so to go. I have a nice tan around my left breast, in the form of a rectangle. It's pretty interesting to look at. I went for my simulation for the radiation boost that will be given during the last 7 days of my treatments. It targets the area of surgery and sends extra strong beams to that area alone instead of the whole breast area. On the way from the simulation in the Setauket area, to my radiation appointment in the Patchogue area, I had a very difficult time keeping my eyes open while I was driving. I think maybe the fatigue that everyone talks about may be kicking in.--or maybe it's just the time change and the full moon that joins us tonight.
Dave is out at his sister, Kim's, tonight. He went out there last Tuesday, to keep her company and help her through the difficult time she's having since Gary's passing. He decided that, maybe for a while, he'll make it a weekly tradition. I think it's great that he's out there with her and he should continue to do so until she feels better.
Physical Therapist Gary will be coming into my school next week to do a presentation for the fourth graders on how our bodies have simple machines inside of them. He's bringing out a couple of samples from Stony Brook Med. Ctr. where he teaches--he's going to show how the knee is actually a three-lever system, with the kneecap acting as a fulcrum. This idea had come up a few months ago, and I thought it was put on the back burner, but when we were starting simple machines, I remembered the discussion. Gary had planned it out for his daughter's 4th grade class at her school, as well. It's always great to have kids see how what they learn today actually applies in the real world.
He explained another method, an alternative to chemo that is used in Europe. It consists of a series of injections--every 4 months, and taking arimidex as well. I think the injections have three different drugs in them--one of them being a drug that causes the body to go into menopause. If I have chemo, he would give me that one injection before starting the arimidex anyway. I have not been able to find information on the treatment he is telling me about--he says he has used it on about 30 of his patients. I'm not sure if the success rate is the same as chemo, nor do I know for how long the studies have been going on for that method.
I know that I don't want to have the cancer return and have to say, "I wish I would have done chemo the first time around". I will do everything I can to rid myself of it now. SOOOOO, I think that I will be opting for chemo--it will begin the end of April if this is the route I choose. It will only be 4 treatments, given every three weeks. I'd be done mid-summer.
My next oncologist appointment is the first week in April. I will have made up my mind completely by then.
Radiation is 14 treatments down another 19 or so to go. I have a nice tan around my left breast, in the form of a rectangle. It's pretty interesting to look at. I went for my simulation for the radiation boost that will be given during the last 7 days of my treatments. It targets the area of surgery and sends extra strong beams to that area alone instead of the whole breast area. On the way from the simulation in the Setauket area, to my radiation appointment in the Patchogue area, I had a very difficult time keeping my eyes open while I was driving. I think maybe the fatigue that everyone talks about may be kicking in.--or maybe it's just the time change and the full moon that joins us tonight.
Dave is out at his sister, Kim's, tonight. He went out there last Tuesday, to keep her company and help her through the difficult time she's having since Gary's passing. He decided that, maybe for a while, he'll make it a weekly tradition. I think it's great that he's out there with her and he should continue to do so until she feels better.
Physical Therapist Gary will be coming into my school next week to do a presentation for the fourth graders on how our bodies have simple machines inside of them. He's bringing out a couple of samples from Stony Brook Med. Ctr. where he teaches--he's going to show how the knee is actually a three-lever system, with the kneecap acting as a fulcrum. This idea had come up a few months ago, and I thought it was put on the back burner, but when we were starting simple machines, I remembered the discussion. Gary had planned it out for his daughter's 4th grade class at her school, as well. It's always great to have kids see how what they learn today actually applies in the real world.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Oncotype Dx Results
The results showed that I have a low reoccurance rate (from 1-17 is low; I'm a 16). This demonstrates that if I have surgery (already done), radiation, and then take Tamoxifen (or another estrogen/progesterone blocker) for 5 years, I have a low risk of reoccurance. I will see the doctor this coming Wednesday-March 4th to discuss the results more fully and to map out the rest of my treatment plan.
Radiation is going well--although it was canceled today due to the huge snowstorm we're experiencing. We had about 12 inches at 10 am this morning and it's been snowing steadily for the past 2 hours. Snow day--no school--YAY!!! I'm happy to have a day off from radiation as well--my breast was getting pretty sore and I was starting to see a tan line in a square formation around the breast--this is the area they are treating.
This weekend I will be in the city for the The Celebration of Teaching and Learning conference. It's sponsored by channel 13 and the list of speakers includes NY Governor David Paterson and Alan Alda (yes, from MASH). I am looking forward to a weekend of listening and learning. I'll be staying with 2 teachers from another elementary school and there are about 6 other teachers from my district who will be attending.
Radiation is going well--although it was canceled today due to the huge snowstorm we're experiencing. We had about 12 inches at 10 am this morning and it's been snowing steadily for the past 2 hours. Snow day--no school--YAY!!! I'm happy to have a day off from radiation as well--my breast was getting pretty sore and I was starting to see a tan line in a square formation around the breast--this is the area they are treating.
This weekend I will be in the city for the The Celebration of Teaching and Learning conference. It's sponsored by channel 13 and the list of speakers includes NY Governor David Paterson and Alan Alda (yes, from MASH). I am looking forward to a weekend of listening and learning. I'll be staying with 2 teachers from another elementary school and there are about 6 other teachers from my district who will be attending.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Radiation
I had my first radiation treatment this past Tuesday, February 17th. It was nothing more than getting an x-ray, except that a red light,on the wall, flashes and buzzes while the treatment is being given. This happens twice for about 20-30 seconds. Once from the right side, and once from the left side. Everytime the light goes on, I think, "Go get those buggers!" Then the light goes off and the technicians come in and it's over. It's amazing that it could possibly do anything at all.
After the first treatment I felt normal. I went home and dutifully applied the all-natural aloe (alcohol free) that Theresa suggested I get. It seemed ridiculous, because my skin felt normal, but I figured if I wanted to keep it that way, I'd better listen.
After the 2nd treatment, I was a bit tired--could I already be tired from this? The doctors liken it to a long day spent at the beach. After a day in the sun's rays, you feel fatigued. Such is the case with radiation. The radiation kills good and bad 'cancer' cells. The good regenerate in a 24 hours period of time, where the bad do not regenerate. The body needs rest so it can work hard at getting those good cells up and running again.
Last night I felt a bit of a localized ache. It was similar to how I felt about 2 weeks after surgery. Just a heaviness, but no pain.
After the first treatment I felt normal. I went home and dutifully applied the all-natural aloe (alcohol free) that Theresa suggested I get. It seemed ridiculous, because my skin felt normal, but I figured if I wanted to keep it that way, I'd better listen.
After the 2nd treatment, I was a bit tired--could I already be tired from this? The doctors liken it to a long day spent at the beach. After a day in the sun's rays, you feel fatigued. Such is the case with radiation. The radiation kills good and bad 'cancer' cells. The good regenerate in a 24 hours period of time, where the bad do not regenerate. The body needs rest so it can work hard at getting those good cells up and running again.
Last night I felt a bit of a localized ache. It was similar to how I felt about 2 weeks after surgery. Just a heaviness, but no pain.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Atlantic City Weekend
We had a great weekend in Atlantic City. Joining us were Chris and Kim, Kim and Matt, Rami and Marie, Christina and Andre, Sylvio and Linda, Gary and Pina, and Billy and Joann (new to our group and a lot of fun).
The weekend started out slow, with Dave and I taking 2 1/2 hours just to get off of Long Island! We had left at 4:30 from the high school--left a car for Ali for when she got out of play rehearsal. At 9pm we were at the Tropicana, and by 9:30 we had joined our friends at Carmine's and enjoyed the mega amounts of food that were still left on the table.
We went to the casino after that, and stayed there until about 3:30 in the morning. Dave, Chris, Rami, and Billy sat down at Blackjack and Dave just couldn't go wrong! He would either get a 20 or 21 on each hand--no brainers--no thinking involved. $1000+ later, we went up to bed.
Saturday rolled in and we rolled out of bed around 9ish. Went for a walk on the boardwalk after breakfast and grabbed a sweatshirt at a local shop. We went to the mall pier and were pleased to see that the third floor had a whole beach sand area running along the floor to ceiling windows the whole stretch of the pier. We relaxed a bit and then headed back to find some tylenol for Dave's pounding headache.
Met at the tiki bar in the hotel around 2 and played darts and basketball until we went to Christina and Andre's room for cocktail hours. Dinner that night was at the Palm. Dave and I shared the special--a 5 lb lobster. The best part was when they split the lobster in half and actually took out all the meat for us--how easy can it get???
Dave and I helped donate money back to the Trop on Sunday. Overall, because our rooms and meals were compt. for both nights, I think we came out ahead of the game. It was just nice to get away from everything for a weekend. Now it's back to reality.
The weekend started out slow, with Dave and I taking 2 1/2 hours just to get off of Long Island! We had left at 4:30 from the high school--left a car for Ali for when she got out of play rehearsal. At 9pm we were at the Tropicana, and by 9:30 we had joined our friends at Carmine's and enjoyed the mega amounts of food that were still left on the table.
We went to the casino after that, and stayed there until about 3:30 in the morning. Dave, Chris, Rami, and Billy sat down at Blackjack and Dave just couldn't go wrong! He would either get a 20 or 21 on each hand--no brainers--no thinking involved. $1000+ later, we went up to bed.
Saturday rolled in and we rolled out of bed around 9ish. Went for a walk on the boardwalk after breakfast and grabbed a sweatshirt at a local shop. We went to the mall pier and were pleased to see that the third floor had a whole beach sand area running along the floor to ceiling windows the whole stretch of the pier. We relaxed a bit and then headed back to find some tylenol for Dave's pounding headache.
Met at the tiki bar in the hotel around 2 and played darts and basketball until we went to Christina and Andre's room for cocktail hours. Dinner that night was at the Palm. Dave and I shared the special--a 5 lb lobster. The best part was when they split the lobster in half and actually took out all the meat for us--how easy can it get???
Dave and I helped donate money back to the Trop on Sunday. Overall, because our rooms and meals were compt. for both nights, I think we came out ahead of the game. It was just nice to get away from everything for a weekend. Now it's back to reality.
Bring it on!
Radiation begins tomorrow at 2:15 pm. It may sound weird, but I'm looking forward to starting this 6 1/2 week course of treatment. I feel as though nothing has been happening to get me better and I have to keep reminding myself that surgery itself was the beginning of my treatment.
Still, I wonder exactly how radiation will affect me. I know it's just supposed to be fatigue and some skin irritation--they don't really tell you how much fatigue, and how much skin irritation. According to my sister-in-law Theresa, radiation was a breeze compared to chemo. I hope that's true--although, if I end up needing chemo, I may not be too happy. I'll sign back on tomorrow and log in how the first treatment went.
Still, I wonder exactly how radiation will affect me. I know it's just supposed to be fatigue and some skin irritation--they don't really tell you how much fatigue, and how much skin irritation. According to my sister-in-law Theresa, radiation was a breeze compared to chemo. I hope that's true--although, if I end up needing chemo, I may not be too happy. I'll sign back on tomorrow and log in how the first treatment went.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Radiation Simulation
Today I went for my radiation simulation. It was painless except for a little pinprick feeling (and burning) when they tatooed a little dot on my chest and on my side under my arm. The technician, Sean, said that actual tattoos hurt less than those little dots. Not sure I want to find out.
The toughest part was staying still with my left arm curved up and out to my left side and placed in a stirrup, for about 45 minutes. Even though my head was placed on top of a wedge, my neck started to ache and my head felt a bit tingly. Not too comfy.
Both doctor and tech used a sharpie marker and drew little dots on various places around my breast. Then a bunch of x-rays from many angles took place, each time either the tech or the doc would come back in and look at a screen and look at the map projected onto my skin. Next, I got a plaster strip placed over my breast until it hardened (not sure what they do with this--maybe use it to make sure everything is lined up just right before the treatments?). Last, these little strips were placed above and below my breast with a wire taped around the incision area and two plastic round dots taped to the center of my chest and the side under the arm area where the tattoos were. I had to then go to get a CT Scan to further assist in the mapping out of my radiation treatment program.
My first treatment will be on Tuesday, February 17th and will continue, Monday-Friday, until Monday, April 6th. Hopefully, that will be it... I'll find out about chemo on March 4th based upon the Oncotype Dx test.
The toughest part was staying still with my left arm curved up and out to my left side and placed in a stirrup, for about 45 minutes. Even though my head was placed on top of a wedge, my neck started to ache and my head felt a bit tingly. Not too comfy.
Both doctor and tech used a sharpie marker and drew little dots on various places around my breast. Then a bunch of x-rays from many angles took place, each time either the tech or the doc would come back in and look at a screen and look at the map projected onto my skin. Next, I got a plaster strip placed over my breast until it hardened (not sure what they do with this--maybe use it to make sure everything is lined up just right before the treatments?). Last, these little strips were placed above and below my breast with a wire taped around the incision area and two plastic round dots taped to the center of my chest and the side under the arm area where the tattoos were. I had to then go to get a CT Scan to further assist in the mapping out of my radiation treatment program.
My first treatment will be on Tuesday, February 17th and will continue, Monday-Friday, until Monday, April 6th. Hopefully, that will be it... I'll find out about chemo on March 4th based upon the Oncotype Dx test.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Oncologist Visit
I had anticipated three outcome choices and I was almost right. I figured today's visit would decide: 1. I would definitely need chemo OR 2. I would definitely not need chemo OR 3. I MIGHT need chemo and they would base it on a test of my excised tumor tissue sample (called Oncotype Dx test). Dr. DaCosta said that I could opt for any of those three choices today--depending on my wishes I could say Yes, No or Maybe-depending on the Oncotype DX test outcome--and he would start the ball rolling in any of those directions.
After he said that I could start radiation first while waiting for the results of the Oncotype Dx Test (takes about 3 weeks), I knew that was the way to go. Tomorrow, I will be setting an appointment with the radiation oncologist, Dr. Cirrone (already met with him in December). During this visit they will place tiny tattoos over certain areas where the beam will be aimed, and then they map out the area, and then possibly send me for pics to see if everything is correct. After all that, I will be scheduling appointments with them, 5 days a week, about 15 minutes each day, for a total of about 6 1/2 weeks. I should be about halfway through treatment when the results of the oncotype test come in.
At least something is starting soon!!!
After he said that I could start radiation first while waiting for the results of the Oncotype Dx Test (takes about 3 weeks), I knew that was the way to go. Tomorrow, I will be setting an appointment with the radiation oncologist, Dr. Cirrone (already met with him in December). During this visit they will place tiny tattoos over certain areas where the beam will be aimed, and then they map out the area, and then possibly send me for pics to see if everything is correct. After all that, I will be scheduling appointments with them, 5 days a week, about 15 minutes each day, for a total of about 6 1/2 weeks. I should be about halfway through treatment when the results of the oncotype test come in.
At least something is starting soon!!!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
The Rock
Everyone needs that person in their life who puts things in perspective and sometimes has to put you on the path of clear thinking again. That person in my life is my husband, David. David is my rock. He supports me by listening carefully and reminding me to take it 'one day at a time', to live in the present, not the future of 'what if'.
Sometimes it's easier said than done especially when one is faced with a pretty serious medical condition such as breast cancer. The waiting game is extremely difficult--the waiting for pathology reports to come back, the waiting for the next doctor visit to find out results, or what treatments to expect, the waiting while testing is being done and researched to find out what that best mode of treatment will be. The waiting is the hardest part and sometimes my mind gets so focused on all the different possibile outcomes, it's hard to think straight and to be happy 'in the moment'.
Being an avid reader, I have been doing my research about all different breast cancer options and it has blown my mind that the 'simple' term of breast cancer can mean such a variety of different things. It depends on the size and location of the actual tumor as well as the cell growth rate, whether or not it has escaped the breast into the lymph nodes, the type of receptors the cancer has--estrogen, progesterone, Her2, etc...and of course with all of these different types, comes different treatment options. I happen to be one of those people who falls on the cusp of the chemo/no chemo line. The reason for this is that my tumor was small (only 8mm/ .8cm) and there was no lymph node involvement. This would normally point to a treatment that would include:
* a lumpectomy (already had--took out 7cm x 3 cm x 1.75 cm--and the margins were not clean--went back, not sure how much more they took out, but this time got clean margins)
* radiation to the area.
* Tamoxifen (or something similar) to stop the estrogen from forming in my body, since my cancer is Estrogen/Progesterone Receptor Positive (my cancer likes estrogen and progesterone)
Now the part that is tricky here is that the tumor was on top of the muscle of my chest wall and they found an 'in situ' cancer (waiting to happen), closer to the skin surface (hence the reason they did not get clean margins the first time even taking out all that tissue). After a second surgery and removing some muscle, and inside the skin surface, they got clean tissue margins.
Since the cancer was in two different places, does this now mean I should have chemo? Also, since it was so close to the chest wall that separates the breast tissue from the heart, is it now more dangerous to do radiation, even though they can bend the beam to try to avoid healthy tissue? These are the things that invade my thoughts, and I wish I could just let go of them until the surgeon visit on the 21st and the oncologist visit on the 28th.
This is where Dave comes in and reminds me there is nothing I can do about any of this until we see the doctor. Why not enjoy this time? So, just for today, I will enjoy every minute of not knowing the future. I may have to take it minute by minute, second by second even, but I'll get through the day happier by doing so. I need to turn those negative thoughts into positive ones and focus on the good things life brings.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Clean Margins...YAY!
Margins from the 1/9 surgery were clean! Yippee!!! Now it's off for a follow up surgeon's visit on the 21st and then to the oncologist on the 28th (decide whether chemo would be beneficial, or if I can just have radiation). The waiting game begins again...
Friday, January 9, 2009
2nd surgery
After seeing Dr. Borden and going over the pathology, I went in for a second surgery today. He removed more tissue on the top and bottom margins of the 7cm he took out last time. Those two places did not have clean margins. The surgery was a lot shorter, only an hour. and I was home, feeling really well, at noon. Now, I'm sore, took some percocet an hour ago and am ready for a nap.
I will find out results some time next week and will follow up with the surgeon on January 21st. Then, I have an appt. with an oncologist on January 28th. This time we'll be talking about chemotherapy as an option of treatment. UGH.
Couple of scenarios:
IF...
Margins are all clear then consult with oncologist about chemo to see if it would benefit me.
IF...Margins are not clear, EITHER more tissue removal (may not be possible) OR a full mastectomy and consult with oncologist.
I'm bracing myself for either scenario and reading everything I can get my hands on in the meantime.
The best thing I did was to get an AFLAC cancer policy last JUNE. I did this after watching my sister-in-law Theresa go through her treatments and medication costs. Our district offered it and I jumped on it. I got all the paperwork together to get the ball rolling with them.
My brother-in-law Gary got some awful news about his cancer. He's at Sloans satellite site at Mercy Hospital for about a week now. They gave him a time frame of how long he has left on this earth. I'm at a loss for words--how terrible for him and Kim--I feel helpless.
I will find out results some time next week and will follow up with the surgeon on January 21st. Then, I have an appt. with an oncologist on January 28th. This time we'll be talking about chemotherapy as an option of treatment. UGH.
Couple of scenarios:
IF...
Margins are all clear then consult with oncologist about chemo to see if it would benefit me.
IF...Margins are not clear, EITHER more tissue removal (may not be possible) OR a full mastectomy and consult with oncologist.
I'm bracing myself for either scenario and reading everything I can get my hands on in the meantime.
The best thing I did was to get an AFLAC cancer policy last JUNE. I did this after watching my sister-in-law Theresa go through her treatments and medication costs. Our district offered it and I jumped on it. I got all the paperwork together to get the ball rolling with them.
My brother-in-law Gary got some awful news about his cancer. He's at Sloans satellite site at Mercy Hospital for about a week now. They gave him a time frame of how long he has left on this earth. I'm at a loss for words--how terrible for him and Kim--I feel helpless.
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