Grateful

I've had many thoughts lately about how grateful and truly blessed my life is. Having cancer really makes you take a step back and reflect on what really matters in life. Adding in the car accident that Ali and Cassie were in last week, made me reflective once again.

Ali was driving from the second night of Seussical at the high school to Applebees. She had Cassie in the minivan as well as my neice and two of their friends. While waiting to turn left at a busy intersection, a 4 door sedan type of car traveling towards them hit them, spun them 180 degrees and sent them down the road about 50 feet in the opposite direction from which they were traveling. Of course, because she was in the left turn lane, the police report states that when she attempted the left turn, she collided with his car. I find this interesting, since all the damage is to the front of both cars. If she was into the turn, the side of her car would have been more damaged.

Whatever...the part that matters most is that all of the kids were able to get out of the van unassisted. The person injured most had a broken nose, and can't remember the events just prior to the accident (the doctor feels that there is no permanent damage though). My neice had to have 4 stitches to the center of her tongue--almost as if she tried to get a tongue piercing that went awry. Ali has some range of motion issues with her right shoulder, as well as a left knee bruise and difficulty walking; Cassie has whiplash (neck muscle spasms and vertebra is straighter than the normal curve of the neck) and low and behold--scoliosis--with her L5 break, was she never fully x-rayed- as well as a bruise to her left shin, a burn and bruise across her chest where the seatbelt kept her captive. The last person in the van was uninjured-just some minor aches. They were all brought to the emergency room to be evaluated and were all sent home within 8 hours of the accident. The man driving the other car did not leave in an ambulance, and we hope that he's okay. You have to wonder though--where was he coming from, and was his cell phone in use at the time of the accident?


My last radiation appointment is this Monday, 4/6--YAY. Then I meet with the oncologist on Friday 4/10. I'll update this after I know what upcoming events will be bringing.

Low, but not low enough

The Oncotype Dx, although placing me in the low category, gives me a 10% chance of the cancer returning. The oncologist put it this way--'If you take 100 women with your same score, 10 of them will get the cancer back. IF you get chemotherapy, it will cut that number to 5 out of the 100 getting the cancer back. He went on to say that the first time you get cancer is the time to do the most you can to get rid of it completely, because if it comes back, it comes back elsewhere in the body and it is more difficult to treat--and impossible to cure completely'.

He explained another method, an alternative to chemo that is used in Europe. It consists of a series of injections--every 4 months, and taking arimidex as well. I think the injections have three different drugs in them--one of them being a drug that causes the body to go into menopause. If I have chemo, he would give me that one injection before starting the arimidex anyway. I have not been able to find information on the treatment he is telling me about--he says he has used it on about 30 of his patients. I'm not sure if the success rate is the same as chemo, nor do I know for how long the studies have been going on for that method.

I know that I don't want to have the cancer return and have to say, "I wish I would have done chemo the first time around". I will do everything I can to rid myself of it now. SOOOOO, I think that I will be opting for chemo--it will begin the end of April if this is the route I choose. It will only be 4 treatments, given every three weeks. I'd be done mid-summer.

My next oncologist appointment is the first week in April. I will have made up my mind completely by then.

Radiation is 14 treatments down another 19 or so to go. I have a nice tan around my left breast, in the form of a rectangle. It's pretty interesting to look at. I went for my simulation for the radiation boost that will be given during the last 7 days of my treatments. It targets the area of surgery and sends extra strong beams to that area alone instead of the whole breast area. On the way from the simulation in the Setauket area, to my radiation appointment in the Patchogue area, I had a very difficult time keeping my eyes open while I was driving. I think maybe the fatigue that everyone talks about may be kicking in.--or maybe it's just the time change and the full moon that joins us tonight.

Dave is out at his sister, Kim's, tonight. He went out there last Tuesday, to keep her company and help her through the difficult time she's having since Gary's passing. He decided that, maybe for a while, he'll make it a weekly tradition. I think it's great that he's out there with her and he should continue to do so until she feels better.

Physical Therapist Gary will be coming into my school next week to do a presentation for the fourth graders on how our bodies have simple machines inside of them. He's bringing out a couple of samples from Stony Brook Med. Ctr. where he teaches--he's going to show how the knee is actually a three-lever system, with the kneecap acting as a fulcrum. This idea had come up a few months ago, and I thought it was put on the back burner, but when we were starting simple machines, I remembered the discussion. Gary had planned it out for his daughter's 4th grade class at her school, as well. It's always great to have kids see how what they learn today actually applies in the real world.

Oncotype Dx Results

The results showed that I have a low reoccurance rate (from 1-17 is low; I'm a 16). This demonstrates that if I have surgery (already done), radiation, and then take Tamoxifen (or another estrogen/progesterone blocker) for 5 years, I have a low risk of reoccurance. I will see the doctor this coming Wednesday-March 4th to discuss the results more fully and to map out the rest of my treatment plan.

Radiation is going well--although it was canceled today due to the huge snowstorm we're experiencing. We had about 12 inches at 10 am this morning and it's been snowing steadily for the past 2 hours. Snow day--no school--YAY!!! I'm happy to have a day off from radiation as well--my breast was getting pretty sore and I was starting to see a tan line in a square formation around the breast--this is the area they are treating.

This weekend I will be in the city for the The Celebration of Teaching and Learning conference. It's sponsored by channel 13 and the list of speakers includes NY Governor David Paterson and Alan Alda (yes, from MASH). I am looking forward to a weekend of listening and learning. I'll be staying with 2 teachers from another elementary school and there are about 6 other teachers from my district who will be attending.

Radiation

I had my first radiation treatment this past Tuesday, February 17th. It was nothing more than getting an x-ray, except that a red light,on the wall, flashes and buzzes while the treatment is being given. This happens twice for about 20-30 seconds. Once from the right side, and once from the left side. Everytime the light goes on, I think, "Go get those buggers!" Then the light goes off and the technicians come in and it's over. It's amazing that it could possibly do anything at all.

After the first treatment I felt normal. I went home and dutifully applied the all-natural aloe (alcohol free) that Theresa suggested I get. It seemed ridiculous, because my skin felt normal, but I figured if I wanted to keep it that way, I'd better listen.

After the 2nd treatment, I was a bit tired--could I already be tired from this? The doctors liken it to a long day spent at the beach. After a day in the sun's rays, you feel fatigued. Such is the case with radiation. The radiation kills good and bad 'cancer' cells. The good regenerate in a 24 hours period of time, where the bad do not regenerate. The body needs rest so it can work hard at getting those good cells up and running again.

Last night I felt a bit of a localized ache. It was similar to how I felt about 2 weeks after surgery. Just a heaviness, but no pain.

Atlantic City Weekend

We had a great weekend in Atlantic City. Joining us were Chris and Kim, Kim and Matt, Rami and Marie, Christina and Andre, Sylvio and Linda, Gary and Pina, and Billy and Joann (new to our group and a lot of fun).

The weekend started out slow, with Dave and I taking 2 1/2 hours just to get off of Long Island! We had left at 4:30 from the high school--left a car for Ali for when she got out of play rehearsal. At 9pm we were at the Tropicana, and by 9:30 we had joined our friends at Carmine's and enjoyed the mega amounts of food that were still left on the table.

We went to the casino after that, and stayed there until about 3:30 in the morning. Dave, Chris, Rami, and Billy sat down at Blackjack and Dave just couldn't go wrong! He would either get a 20 or 21 on each hand--no brainers--no thinking involved. $1000+ later, we went up to bed.

Saturday rolled in and we rolled out of bed around 9ish. Went for a walk on the boardwalk after breakfast and grabbed a sweatshirt at a local shop. We went to the mall pier and were pleased to see that the third floor had a whole beach sand area running along the floor to ceiling windows the whole stretch of the pier. We relaxed a bit and then headed back to find some tylenol for Dave's pounding headache.

Met at the tiki bar in the hotel around 2 and played darts and basketball until we went to Christina and Andre's room for cocktail hours. Dinner that night was at the Palm. Dave and I shared the special--a 5 lb lobster. The best part was when they split the lobster in half and actually took out all the meat for us--how easy can it get???

Dave and I helped donate money back to the Trop on Sunday. Overall, because our rooms and meals were compt. for both nights, I think we came out ahead of the game. It was just nice to get away from everything for a weekend. Now it's back to reality.

Bring it on!

Radiation begins tomorrow at 2:15 pm. It may sound weird, but I'm looking forward to starting this 6 1/2 week course of treatment. I feel as though nothing has been happening to get me better and I have to keep reminding myself that surgery itself was the beginning of my treatment.

Still, I wonder exactly how radiation will affect me. I know it's just supposed to be fatigue and some skin irritation--they don't really tell you how much fatigue, and how much skin irritation. According to my sister-in-law Theresa, radiation was a breeze compared to chemo. I hope that's true--although, if I end up needing chemo, I may not be too happy. I'll sign back on tomorrow and log in how the first treatment went.

Radiation Simulation

Today I went for my radiation simulation. It was painless except for a little pinprick feeling (and burning) when they tatooed a little dot on my chest and on my side under my arm. The technician, Sean, said that actual tattoos hurt less than those little dots. Not sure I want to find out.

The toughest part was staying still with my left arm curved up and out to my left side and placed in a stirrup, for about 45 minutes. Even though my head was placed on top of a wedge, my neck started to ache and my head felt a bit tingly. Not too comfy.

Both doctor and tech used a sharpie marker and drew little dots on various places around my breast. Then a bunch of x-rays from many angles took place, each time either the tech or the doc would come back in and look at a screen and look at the map projected onto my skin. Next, I got a plaster strip placed over my breast until it hardened (not sure what they do with this--maybe use it to make sure everything is lined up just right before the treatments?). Last, these little strips were placed above and below my breast with a wire taped around the incision area and two plastic round dots taped to the center of my chest and the side under the arm area where the tattoos were. I had to then go to get a CT Scan to further assist in the mapping out of my radiation treatment program.

My first treatment will be on Tuesday, February 17th and will continue, Monday-Friday, until Monday, April 6th. Hopefully, that will be it... I'll find out about chemo on March 4th based upon the Oncotype Dx test.