Radiation

I had my first radiation treatment this past Tuesday, February 17th. It was nothing more than getting an x-ray, except that a red light,on the wall, flashes and buzzes while the treatment is being given. This happens twice for about 20-30 seconds. Once from the right side, and once from the left side. Everytime the light goes on, I think, "Go get those buggers!" Then the light goes off and the technicians come in and it's over. It's amazing that it could possibly do anything at all.

After the first treatment I felt normal. I went home and dutifully applied the all-natural aloe (alcohol free) that Theresa suggested I get. It seemed ridiculous, because my skin felt normal, but I figured if I wanted to keep it that way, I'd better listen.

After the 2nd treatment, I was a bit tired--could I already be tired from this? The doctors liken it to a long day spent at the beach. After a day in the sun's rays, you feel fatigued. Such is the case with radiation. The radiation kills good and bad 'cancer' cells. The good regenerate in a 24 hours period of time, where the bad do not regenerate. The body needs rest so it can work hard at getting those good cells up and running again.

Last night I felt a bit of a localized ache. It was similar to how I felt about 2 weeks after surgery. Just a heaviness, but no pain.

Atlantic City Weekend

We had a great weekend in Atlantic City. Joining us were Chris and Kim, Kim and Matt, Rami and Marie, Christina and Andre, Sylvio and Linda, Gary and Pina, and Billy and Joann (new to our group and a lot of fun).

The weekend started out slow, with Dave and I taking 2 1/2 hours just to get off of Long Island! We had left at 4:30 from the high school--left a car for Ali for when she got out of play rehearsal. At 9pm we were at the Tropicana, and by 9:30 we had joined our friends at Carmine's and enjoyed the mega amounts of food that were still left on the table.

We went to the casino after that, and stayed there until about 3:30 in the morning. Dave, Chris, Rami, and Billy sat down at Blackjack and Dave just couldn't go wrong! He would either get a 20 or 21 on each hand--no brainers--no thinking involved. $1000+ later, we went up to bed.

Saturday rolled in and we rolled out of bed around 9ish. Went for a walk on the boardwalk after breakfast and grabbed a sweatshirt at a local shop. We went to the mall pier and were pleased to see that the third floor had a whole beach sand area running along the floor to ceiling windows the whole stretch of the pier. We relaxed a bit and then headed back to find some tylenol for Dave's pounding headache.

Met at the tiki bar in the hotel around 2 and played darts and basketball until we went to Christina and Andre's room for cocktail hours. Dinner that night was at the Palm. Dave and I shared the special--a 5 lb lobster. The best part was when they split the lobster in half and actually took out all the meat for us--how easy can it get???

Dave and I helped donate money back to the Trop on Sunday. Overall, because our rooms and meals were compt. for both nights, I think we came out ahead of the game. It was just nice to get away from everything for a weekend. Now it's back to reality.

Bring it on!

Radiation begins tomorrow at 2:15 pm. It may sound weird, but I'm looking forward to starting this 6 1/2 week course of treatment. I feel as though nothing has been happening to get me better and I have to keep reminding myself that surgery itself was the beginning of my treatment.

Still, I wonder exactly how radiation will affect me. I know it's just supposed to be fatigue and some skin irritation--they don't really tell you how much fatigue, and how much skin irritation. According to my sister-in-law Theresa, radiation was a breeze compared to chemo. I hope that's true--although, if I end up needing chemo, I may not be too happy. I'll sign back on tomorrow and log in how the first treatment went.

Radiation Simulation

Today I went for my radiation simulation. It was painless except for a little pinprick feeling (and burning) when they tatooed a little dot on my chest and on my side under my arm. The technician, Sean, said that actual tattoos hurt less than those little dots. Not sure I want to find out.

The toughest part was staying still with my left arm curved up and out to my left side and placed in a stirrup, for about 45 minutes. Even though my head was placed on top of a wedge, my neck started to ache and my head felt a bit tingly. Not too comfy.

Both doctor and tech used a sharpie marker and drew little dots on various places around my breast. Then a bunch of x-rays from many angles took place, each time either the tech or the doc would come back in and look at a screen and look at the map projected onto my skin. Next, I got a plaster strip placed over my breast until it hardened (not sure what they do with this--maybe use it to make sure everything is lined up just right before the treatments?). Last, these little strips were placed above and below my breast with a wire taped around the incision area and two plastic round dots taped to the center of my chest and the side under the arm area where the tattoos were. I had to then go to get a CT Scan to further assist in the mapping out of my radiation treatment program.

My first treatment will be on Tuesday, February 17th and will continue, Monday-Friday, until Monday, April 6th. Hopefully, that will be it... I'll find out about chemo on March 4th based upon the Oncotype Dx test.

Oncologist Visit

I had anticipated three outcome choices and I was almost right. I figured today's visit would decide: 1. I would definitely need chemo OR 2. I would definitely not need chemo OR 3. I MIGHT need chemo and they would base it on a test of my excised tumor tissue sample (called Oncotype Dx test). Dr. DaCosta said that I could opt for any of those three choices today--depending on my wishes I could say Yes, No or Maybe-depending on the Oncotype DX test outcome--and he would start the ball rolling in any of those directions.

After he said that I could start radiation first while waiting for the results of the Oncotype Dx Test (takes about 3 weeks), I knew that was the way to go. Tomorrow, I will be setting an appointment with the radiation oncologist, Dr. Cirrone (already met with him in December). During this visit they will place tiny tattoos over certain areas where the beam will be aimed, and then they map out the area, and then possibly send me for pics to see if everything is correct. After all that, I will be scheduling appointments with them, 5 days a week, about 15 minutes each day, for a total of about 6 1/2 weeks. I should be about halfway through treatment when the results of the oncotype test come in.

At least something is starting soon!!!

The Rock

Everyone needs that person in their life who puts things in perspective and sometimes has to put you on the path of clear thinking again. That person in my life is my husband, David. David is my rock. He supports me by listening carefully and reminding me to take it 'one day at a time', to live in the present, not the future of 'what if'.

Sometimes it's easier said than done especially when one is faced with a pretty serious medical condition such as breast cancer. The waiting game is extremely difficult--the waiting for pathology reports to come back, the waiting for the next doctor visit to find out results, or what treatments to expect, the waiting while testing is being done and researched to find out what that best mode of treatment will be. The waiting is the hardest part and sometimes my mind gets so focused on all the different possibile outcomes, it's hard to think straight and to be happy 'in the moment'.

Being an avid reader, I have been doing my research about all different breast cancer options and it has blown my mind that the 'simple' term of breast cancer can mean such a variety of different things. It depends on the size and location of the actual tumor as well as the cell growth rate, whether or not it has escaped the breast into the lymph nodes, the type of receptors the cancer has--estrogen, progesterone, Her2, etc...and of course with all of these different types, comes different treatment options. I happen to be one of those people who falls on the cusp of the chemo/no chemo line. The reason for this is that my tumor was small (only 8mm/ .8cm) and there was no lymph node involvement. This would normally point to a treatment that would include:

* a lumpectomy (already had--took out 7cm x 3 cm x 1.75 cm--and the margins were not clean--went back, not sure how much more they took out, but this time got clean margins)
* radiation to the area.
* Tamoxifen (or something similar) to stop the estrogen from forming in my body, since my cancer is Estrogen/Progesterone Receptor Positive (my cancer likes estrogen and progesterone)

Now the part that is tricky here is that the tumor was on top of the muscle of my chest wall and they found an 'in situ' cancer (waiting to happen), closer to the skin surface (hence the reason they did not get clean margins the first time even taking out all that tissue). After a second surgery and removing some muscle, and inside the skin surface, they got clean tissue margins.

Since the cancer was in two different places, does this now mean I should have chemo? Also, since it was so close to the chest wall that separates the breast tissue from the heart, is it now more dangerous to do radiation, even though they can bend the beam to try to avoid healthy tissue? These are the things that invade my thoughts, and I wish I could just let go of them until the surgeon visit on the 21st and the oncologist visit on the 28th.

This is where Dave comes in and reminds me there is nothing I can do about any of this until we see the doctor. Why not enjoy this time? So, just for today, I will enjoy every minute of not knowing the future. I may have to take it minute by minute, second by second even, but I'll get through the day happier by doing so. I need to turn those negative thoughts into positive ones and focus on the good things life brings.

Clean Margins...YAY!

Margins from the 1/9 surgery were clean! Yippee!!! Now it's off for a follow up surgeon's visit on the 21st and then to the oncologist on the 28th (decide whether chemo would be beneficial, or if I can just have radiation). The waiting game begins again...